I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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