I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
