I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
My dad just said "fuck circus"
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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