The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
