You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Randomize
