i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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