i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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