I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
accomplished twins. life is a go
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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