i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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