but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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