You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
