i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Randomize
