I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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