Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
