You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I need water and some morals
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
