We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Drunk walkin through police station. America
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
