I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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