I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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