You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
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