dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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