Whod you bang
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
