dude i'm inner monologue high
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
