he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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