I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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