Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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