you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
