I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
