The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I'm bleeding and have questions
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
