i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
