I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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