I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize