He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize