i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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