You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
