So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Never underestimate the power of titties
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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