And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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