Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(760): View more from California

Do you need to be saved?

(847): View more from Illinois

No I think I'm God

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(214): View more from Texas

Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!

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(253): View more from Washington

i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.

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(229): View more from Georgia

He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.

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(940): View more from Texas

He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.

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(914): View more from New York

hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early

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(310): View more from California

Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.

(508): View more from Massachusetts

At least he has family values.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.

(734): View more from Michigan

please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso

(603): View more from New Hampshire

:)

(603): View more from New Hampshire

i can feel colors

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