This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
