if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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