Are we in a gay sports bar?
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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