yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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