Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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