party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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