i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
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