My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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