Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
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