Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
