Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Its about making memories worth repressing
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Randomize
