First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
