I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
