Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
