have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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