Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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