I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize