Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
