She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
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