So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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