he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
