shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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