Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
