I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
